Category: Reflections & Lifestyle

I am the wife of a shiftworker. I have been a shiftworker’s partner/spouse for eight years. We have built a relationship around one & one sets, two & two sets and of course swinging from days to nights. Countless important dates have been postponed or celebrated via text message, phone call or with roses delivered to my workplace since there are hundreds of miles between us or sometimes numerous provinces.

Please note that in no way am I complaining about my life or my husband. I love my husband immensely, he has made major sacrifices to provide for us and for that I am eternally grateful. As difficult it is for me, it is no walk in the park for him. When he is gone I know he worries about me being home alone, I see him wrestle with his guilt over having to go, the work he does is physically demanding and hazardous and the oddball schedule is hard on his body. Yet, he endures all this without complaint.

The time we have together is very important and we cherish it. It can be frustrating for both of us because sometimes his time is quickly eaten up by chores. Around the holidays it seems like his time at home is on fast forward and his time away moves in slow motion. But, come hunting or fishing season we drop everything and get back to basics, back to nature.

This is a lifestyle blog and this is part of my life; I want to share openly and honestly about all aspects of my life. There are countless people across this great province and country who understand what the shiftworker spouse life is like. They know how tough it can be on them and their loved ones. I have read other blogs about couples who have made this type of dynamic work for over ten years. I have read about couples who were unable to cope, partially because of what was left unsaid –one wife in particular bottled everything up because she didn’t want to add more stress to her husband’s plate.

When my husband and I first started dating I didn’t quite know how to ‘make it all work’ because I had nothing to go on. It is said that the relationships we are exposed to in our formative years greatly influence or guide the relationships we have as adults. My mother was a stay at home mom for most of my life and my father worked locally and was home for dinner each night promptly at five. Therefore, being about to read about the experience of other spouses who hold down the fort while their other half is away.

Sometimes the loneliness is palpable. I’ll admit sometimes I get into such a funk when my husband is away that I just want to stay inside and sleep and I only feel better when he comes home. Over the next few months I’ll be sharing some tips for how we make it work as well as some of the things I do to make his time away tolerable. I would love to hear sage advice from other shiftworker spouses out there. Here is a preview of mine…

1. Surround yourself with family
2. Communicate as much as possible
3. Get off the couch
4. Hobbies
5. Lists
6. Clean house
7. Meal planning
8. Make gestures
9. Don’t cry
10. Love

Fishing can be a very expensive hobby; as a beginner, I don’t really want to be shelling out big money. The amount of gear I have compared to my husband’s is pretty minimal…but then again sometimes I ‘“shop” out of his stockpile. For me, fly fishing is more about getting outside and spending time with my husband while exploring the Forestry Trunk Road. I did my first float on the Bow River between McKinnon Flats and Jensen’s in Calgary last summer and my goodness; what a beautiful ride!

What equipment am I carrying in my waist pack??

Fly Rod & Reel
Fly Line
Leaders
Backing
Tippet
Waders
Wading Boots
Polarized Sunglasses
Buff
Wading Stick
Net
Fly Floatant
Strike Indicators
Fly Case with Assorted Flies
Forceps
Fish Nippers
-Bear Bell & Spray

There are TONS of other products and items available of course, but right now, I don’t need it. If you are just starting out and want to minimize costs you can forgo the waders and boots (I did my first year; however, spending the day being wet and cold in mountain streams wasn’t the greatest). 

Great places to gear up…
–The Fishin’ Hole
–Orvis

**But don’t discount the little fly shops in small towns and backcountry areas; they are hidden gems and also carry flies and other equipment that works best in that location!

Best Brands…
–Rio
–Reddington
–Fishpond

After an imaginably stressful second semester I decided to spend my summer, treating myself to some pampering to recharge my batteries and of course to re-focus on self-care. I always wanted to do was to have a hot stone massage.

What is it?
A massage that combines a firm touch of Swedish massage with the gentle touch of warm basalt stones which are warmed to a temperature of approximately 120°F. The stones are placed on key points on the body (which may include spine, stomach, chest, face, palms, feet or toes) to warm them. Other stones are used with oil to perform the massage. Sometimes cold stones are used afterwards as a way to soothe swelling blood vessels and skin.

What are the benefits?

1. Muscle Tension/Pain Relief…
By increasing blood flow to the area(s) causing you grief. It is effective for reducing spasms and inflammation.

2. Stress/Anxiety Reduction…
It is well documented that massage is an effective way to induce feelings of calm and relaxation therefore helping to promote better mental health.

3. Sleep Improvement…
Those who partake in massage tend to fall asleep faster and experience deeper and more restorative sleep. As well, when they wake up they are more alert and active.

4. Immune System Boost…
Massage has the ability to lower certain hormones responsible for regulating blood pressure and water retention.

5. Illness Symptom Reduction…
Further research has been conducted; findings support the belief that massage can help alleviate sleep issues and reduce trigger points for those afflicted with fibromyalgia. For those suffering from rheumatoid arthritis massage is linked to decreased pain and increased grip strength and range of motion. An extensive multi-year study found that massage also contributes to less intense pain, fatigue, stress, nausea and depression in those with cancer.

My two-cents….

Ultimately, I love using techniques like massage, chiropractic care and acupuncture as an alternative to over the counter and prescription medications to manage my pain, stress and illness; especially to help manage my migraines.

As I sit at my computer, my heart is heavy. It is the last day of the school year; the last day of a very non-typical school year.

My heart is also heavy as I think of all the chaos and pain this pandemic has caused even though in most places, “business is once again resuming.” I think of those who succumbed to the illness, I think of their loved ones who grieve. I think of those still fighting a courageous battle to overcome the complications from COVID-19 after it ravaged their bodies. I think of their loved ones who pray and hold vigil; the ultimate embodiment of hope.

Over my 11 years as an educator; I have had some difficult years… whether it was deep cuts to the budget resulting in the cut back of services, instruction and supplies which is so detrimental to the education and future of our students; or student trauma and death and now… the COVID-19 closure.

As I watched the government update in mid March; it was as if I had been punched in the stomach when the Chief Medical Office, with great reluctance, announced that K-12 schools would be closing… indefinitely!

Teachers love personal interaction and routine; the COVID-19 closure ripped that away. I thought of my students. Not being able to see them over the summer is difficult enough. But not being able to see them until school (hopefully) re-opened in September… almost 5 months away… made my head spin!

My coworkers and I frantically texted each other trying to figure out what this closure would mean to the physical, emotional and mental health of our students. So many questions; so few answers at the outset; this was uncharted territory!

-What about the students who rely on us to provide breakfast and lunch?
-What about the students receiving one on one support?
-How do we foster and maintain relationships?
-What about those accessing mental health services (from us or from outside sources)?
-What about the effects of crisis and job loss on the families?-What about our students in grade 12: how would this affect their graduation and their future post secondary plans?
-How do we support online learning?
-What about access to technology for students? 

We had ONE week to prepare work for students (both on paper and digitally) that conformed to the standards set by the Ministry of Education and our school board, clean out lockers, facilitate student pick up of their things, gather all of our materials to take home so we could work there instead. Then the remote learning phase would start. We traded walking around our once bustling and vibrant classrooms full of kids eager to connect with us and learn, for our kitchen tables where we would sit tied to our Chromebooks for 8 hours permanently logged into Google Classroom or on a Google Meet.

I must say that our school and board did a tremendous job bridging the gap and facilitating the transition from classroom to online learning. Our students were incredible! They rose to the challenge and showed how resilient they are and I couldn’t be prouder of their progress and perseverance!

As always our concern is about our students, however, in typical teacher fashion we often neglect our own wellness. The pandemic caused me a lot of anxiety. I did develop some positive coping strategies (however, I also developed some negative ones too). What got me through the COVID-19 Closure was…

1. Routine 
2. Regular coffee sessions
3. Spending time outside
4. Working out or moving my body
5. Actively participating in a relaxing activity 
6. Turning off the news

Routine
-Getting up at my usual pre-closure time.
-My online class schedule followed the same in-class timings.-I got dressed as if I was going to work in my teacher clothes.
*There were times where I fell off the wagon in terms of my routine; when my sadness and anxiety overwhelmed me. I’d get up 20 minutes before class started, keep my pajama pants on but put on a nice shirt, I’d couch surf on my breaks rather than go outside and forgo my workout. These were not good days!

Coffee Sessions
-A Google Meet or a Zoom call with coworkers or friends while enjoying a cup of coffee and just talking about other aspects of life and not focusing on COVID-19.

Spending Time Outside
-I took all my allotted breaks outside and even ate meals outside.
*Never did I think I would miss hallway supervision at lunch; but I REALLY did!

Working Out or Moving My Body
-I found a great short workout (7 minutes of stretching) in the Nike Training Club (NTC). I did that before work. I used the “plan” feature on the app to find a schedule of workouts I could do after work.-I also went for walks on my lunch break or I pulled a few weeds and watered plants in the garden.

Relaxation
-Yoga, colouring, writing, reading, playing games, birdwatching, doing puzzles, listening to music, catching up on and discovering new podcasts. *You know, all the stuff you shelve so you can get other things done. I had to consciously make time for this stuff; these are all the activities that fill my bucket… you can’t pour from an empty bucket!

Turn Off The News…
-The endless COVID-19 updates and posts on social media became too much. I couldn’t handle it. So I simply STOPPED tuning in each day at 3:30; I chose when I wanted to listen (once a week) and stopped myself from being bombarded.The fate of the upcoming school year is still in limbo. We have a tentative plan but that could change (all we can do is hope and pray that COVID-19 dies down, that those still fighting recover quickly and that we can get back to a routine that is as close to “normal” as possible). I can’t wait to be reunited with my students in September! 

I recently celebrated my 34th birthday and with each passing year I am increasingly more thankful for all the experiences I have had the great fortune to enjoy. I thought I would compile a short list of the “little” things that give me great joy. This will also give you a chance to get to know me and get a sense of what “Buttercups & Burlap” is all about.

I use the term “little’ with reluctance of course since these things are far from little. All the items on my list are related to my outdoor lifestyle. When I first started writing this month’s contribution the list was simply…

• Family, Friends, Hunting, Fishing, Camping, Country Living, Cooking & Baking

However, I wanted to isolate the small pieces of each – to root out the source of joy. So, my list evolved into the following…

Family: There is nothing more important to me than family. My husband and I spend lots of time with our families and when we can’t; we miss them like crazy! There is nothing better than being with family; sharing everything from a home-cooked meal to a beloved pastime and anything else in between. In particular we get to spend time with the next generation of hunters in our family. My youngest niece was so enthralled and proud of herself when my husband let her cluck away on one of his duck calls. My oldest niece and my nephew frequently ask ‘Uncle’ if they can shoot cans or balloons with the BB gun or when ‘Uncle’ will have the kid quad and Skidoo ready for riding. I must say though that getting ‘out-fished’ by kids every ice fishing season is starting to sting.

Friends : I am very lucky to have a great circle of friends; who really are just like family. Their support over the years has been indescribable. We hunt, fish and camp with them. These same friends welcomed me with open arms to their hunting group and are always ready, willing and able to help out a fellow outdoorsperson. Since owning our own hunting business we have met fantastic people and our circle has grown immensely. 

Hunting: I never got the opportunity to hunt with my father when I was young, because cancer took him; but my aunt took me under her wing when I was in university and taught me all she knew. I affectionately refer to her as Annie Oakley. Not only did this hobby help me connect with my aunt but it also turned into a lifestyle. Hunting has made me feel valuable, and even more so when I fill a freezer; when I contribute to our family. It has given me an increased appreciation for animals, conservation and nature in general. Hunting has given me a whole new skill set; not only can I harvest my meat, I can also butcher it with very little waste and cook it. Because of waterfowling, we have a bird dog that I get to learn how to train and work with each day; something I never thought I would be able to do –hunting challenges me and the successes feel so awesome.

Fishing: Much like hunting, this hobby has turned into a lifestyle. Ice fishing in the winter. Travelling all over Alberta to investigate the spots that Barry Mitchell wrote about in Alberta’s Trout Highway. I have to say that my husband has read that book so many times I had to buy him a second copy. I can remember when I caught my first Cutthroat and my first Brown Trout! For my 29th birthday my husband bought me my very own fly-rod and accoutrements so that I could learn and enjoy it too. One day when I am more patient I’ll tie flies, in the meantime I will just raid his collection. Even a visit to my family in BC turns into a Sturgeon fishing trip on the Fraser River outside Chilliwack and Hope or catching Kokanee in the Shuswap. Our honeymoon destination was Salmon fishing in Port Hardy and yes, I was the one that pushed for it. Our first few summers together as a couple saw us head off on 7 day fly-in fishing trips for Pike, Walleye and Lake Trout at Wiley Lake, Colin Lake and South Leland Lake in northern Alberta; where I was often uttering the phrase “We’re burning daylight!” Not to mention I successfully caught a bigger fish than my husband …and accidently knocked his rod overboard (don’t worry I replaced it!). It was even on one of those trips that he proposed.

Camping: As a teacher I spend a lot of time with technology, and more and more parts of this job are tied to the computer –attendance, report cards, online classes, communicating with stakeholders, calendars, meetings, forms, lesson planning, etc. I even did a Master’s degree online two years ago. I genuinely love my job. I never really saw myself doing anything else. I feel sad when each school year ends. To be honest I feel totally discombobulated, as if I don’t quite know what to do with myself when I’m not with my students. However, I long for the days when I can just unplug from computers, iphones, and tablets and just get off the grid. I live for the days when we pack up the trailer and spend 10 days on the Forestry Trunk Road or get a group site with friends. It gives me a chance to breath and marvel and what Mother Nature has to offer and NOT stare at a screen.

Country Living: My husband and I purchased his childhood home in 2015. Fifteen acres of heaven. The thought that our family will continue to grow and thrive here is exciting. I love that I can come home from work and go for quad and Skidoo rides with my husband. It’s a thrill when we whip down the trails. I love that we can scour the bush and neighbouring fields for antler sheds. This change from the concrete jungle to the country has allowed me to work on my green-thumb. In addition to a diet based on wild game (deer, moose, goose and duck) we grow lots of our own vegetables. There is something very therapeutic about tending a garden and harvesting the fruits of your labour. It’s a great feeling to see the cold room stocked with fresh potatoes, onions and carrots, the freezer full of veggies and baked goods made with zucchini, the pantry filled with jars of pickles that came from your own garden. We are by no means self-sufficient; but the thought of increasing that in our life is something that would suit me just fine. We have toyed with the idea of getting chickens, pheasants and bees. Another perk of our home is sitting around the fire in the evenings and looking at the stars. The fact that I can set up my archery targets on the front lawn and fling some arrows whenever the mood strikes without worrying the neighbours is a privilege. Being isolated from the hub-bub of the city has definitely done wonders for our quality of life.

Cooking & Baking: I strongly believe that the kitchen is the heart of the home. Cooking, baking and food in general brings people together. Recipes of yester-year are passed down and milestones are celebrated with family meals. I am in my element when I’m putting out a spread for family and friends. My husband loves to cook, barbeque, make jerky and smoke all sorts of meats in his Bradley. Part of why we enjoy this is because most of the time we make meals that we have had the ability of harvesting the ingredients for.