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Reflections & Lifestyle

An Ode to Strong Women

Today is March 8th, it is also International Women’s Day; it is a day to celebrate the movement for women’s rights. Originally celebrated on February 28, 1909 as National Women’s Day in New York it steadily gained momentum over the years until it was eventually adopted by the United Nations in 1975 and formally recognized in 1977. I thought that I would share with you an ode to strong women; the women that I look up to and are grateful to for blazing the trail; knowing that without their blood, sweat and tears, we may not enjoy the freedom, opportunities or lifestyle that we do today. I also applaud the efforts of those who continue to champion women’s rights especially in today’s political climate.

Perhaps my fascination with these incredibly accomplished and remarkable women is because I am a social teacher or perhaps because I am a proud Albertan or perhaps because I remember watching the Historica Minute as a young girl thinking how could this have ever been an issue, but whatever the case I have selected The Famous Five for my tribute.

Who are The Famous Five?
Emily Murphy: a magistrate in Edmonton, author known as Janey Canuck and the first female judge in the British Empire.
Irene Parlby: president of the United Farm Women of Alberta, Red Cross worker and Alberta’s first female Cabinet minister.
Nellie McClung: the only female representative at the League of Nations, the first female on the Board of Directors at the CBC and an Edmonton Liberal MLA.
Louise McKinney: advocate, founder of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, and the first woman elected to the Legislature of Alberta.
Henrietta Muir Edwards: Red Cross leader, founding member of the Victorian Order of Nurses and long-term chairperson at the National Council of Women.

Their Cause
These women challenged the Supreme Court of Canada in 1927 to have women considered as ‘persons’ under Section 24 of the British North America Act of 1867; as a way to allow them greater political freedoms and democratic rights, such as that to be appointed to the Senate. The Supreme Court decided unanimously after lengthy deliberation that women were NOT “persons” eligible to be included in the Senate. Not content with the verdict, they persisted, eventually the “Person’s Case” was taken to the Judicial Committee of the Imperial Privy Council (basically the last court of appeal in the British Empire). There the Supreme Court’s decision was overturned; women were indeed “persons” and were eligible to be senators.

Outcome
Although I have zero political aspirations I treasure having the option to participate in government at all levels, if I want to; regardless of my gender. I do treasure the voice that I have in this country. I  treasure being treated with respect and dignity and I treasure being able to vote. Considering that my maternal grandparents fled from a country rife with political corruption and oppression I am thankful that I don’t face those same battles, here in Canada.

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Reflections & Lifestyle

Shiftworker Wife: Mental Health

January 28th was Bell Let’s Talk Day. Many professional development and convention sessions have focused on mental health and resiliency. I am very glad that this facet of well-being has been brought to the forefront; too bad it took a pandemic for us to get our priorities in order. I’ve spent a lot of time think about, learning about and researching mental health. I came across this article while my husband was away at work. Albeit, it is from 2017, but it was really the first article I found devoted to the topic and it also made me wonder how the pandemic has affected this situation.

Oil, Heartbeak, And Manhood: Behind The Mental Health Crisis Of Alberta’s Oil Workers

Despite all the gains we have made in opening up the dialogue on mental health far too many people, men especially hide their pain and suffering because of the long persisting stigma associated with mental health issues. They have been told for far too long to “suck it up” and “be a man.” As heartbreaking as it was to read I think that it is a very important one to read. It really scared me; my husband is a rotational shiftworker. I came across this article when it popped up on my Facebook feed, shared by a shiftworker; was it a sign or a quiet call for help?

I have heard stories from my husband and other shiftworkers about “guys who couldn’t hack it;” I couldn’t imagine the pressure that my husband, his friends and co-workers put on themselves not only to work hard to provide for their families but the pressure they put on themselves not to be labelled, “the guy who couldn’t hack it.” Just continuing the cycle of silence.

Let’s stop viewing our men as these hard-working, indestructible pillars in our lives and let’s start viewing them as hard-working, vulnerable humans. Talk to your spouse and don’t hesitate to access the help that they need.

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Reflections & Lifestyle

Country Life: The Inside Scoop

Country life can seem like an idyllic paradise to some but for others it is a nightmare. I spent the first 18 years of my life living just outside Vancouver, then five years in Edmonton before buying a house in the “country-adjacent” town of Devon. But in 2015, I moved to the COUNTRY with my better half. Let’s just say there was a steep learning curve and there are some challenges to living “out in the boonies” but overall I have to say this was the best move of my life!

The best parts of living in the country…

1. Neighbours
We live in my husband’s childhood home; that in itself is really cool. But, the neighbours and people in our community are amazing, they are kind, friendly and the mentality of helping each other out really rings true here. I feel safer here, simply because we know lots of people and we all depend on one another.

2. Summers
The summers here are beautiful, everything is green and full of life. It is refreshing and being able to spend hours outside is great, with the birds chirping and the creek rushing. Our quality of life has definitely improved. I spend summer nights star gazing.

3. Activities
My eyes have been opened to new fun and exciting activities. As well, the space we have allowed us to continue with beloved hobbies. From bird hunting in the fall, deer hunting in November, ice fishing at the lake nearby in the winter and gardening in the spring and summer or golfing on the front lawn; we are never not busy.

4. Peace & Quiet
No sirens, car alarms, yelling, traffic. Restful.

5. Organic Food
And this doesn’t come with a hefty price-tag from a grocery store. Being able to grow lots of our own fruits and vegetables gives us a sense of pride but also peace of mind that we aren’t eating pesticide-laced produce. We harvest our own meat in the form of goose, duck, moose, deer and fish. It reduces food costs, gets us off the couch and allows us to spend time together.

The drawbacks of living in the country…

1. Isolation
I’ll admit it took a bit of getting used to being so far from family and friends. I find it most difficult to be here on my own when my husband is gone to work for weeks at a time (especially during winter but I will get to that next). Occasionally I miss the hustle and bustle of the city.

2. Winters
The sheer amount of snow we get and the LONG driveway we have to clear is daunting. Luckily, my husband does this and our neighbour helps us out with his tractor but when I am on my own I feel overwhelmed. Plus, winter road conditions sometimes keep us more home bound than we would like.

3. Amenities
Being so far out from the city in a small hamlet, we don’t have the amenities that I enjoyed in my youth and sometimes feel nostalgic for, like fancy restaurants, movie theaters or certain beloved stores. Plus, many places, for example Sears won’t service our area so when something breaks down it can be quite the mess around to find someone to come out. Oh, and the internet is pretty sketchy out here too!

4. Chores
There is a lot that goes into the upkeep of our home and land; for example mowing acres and acres of grass, maintaining fencing, weeding, cutting trees (again, I am spoil my husband does this) and  it is time consuming. It isn’t all play…mind you it isn’t all work but I wasn’t prepared for how long our to-do lists sometimes are. You can’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

5. Mosquitos & Wasps
They can be INSANE…need I say more?? I spent a lot of time applying bug spray, Afterbite and ingesting Benadryl as well as swelling and itching. We have wasp traps up everywhere, bug zappers and a mosquito vacuum…It hardly made a dent. Sometimes it makes it hard to live an outdoor lifestyle or sit on the deck to enjoy the view.

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Reflections & Lifestyle

To My 18 Year Old Self…

January is often times a month of reflection… in that vein I thought it would be fun to write a little note to my 18 year old self. It’s nice to celebrate what we all have been through, that makes us who we are and see how far we have come and how much we have changed. If you could write a letter to your younger self… what would you say?

Dear 18 Y/O Lila,

Looking back there are a few things that I wish you knew –it would have made life so much easier. But, hindsight is 20-20. First of all, you end up married to the most amazing man. Growing up you so badly wanted a boyfriend and a happily ever after. You are going to be utterly devastated each and every time you have your heart broken and you will often lament, “Where is he?” “Why is it taking so long?” It is perfectly fine to date lots of different guys but don’t try to make each one ‘fit’ –you should know that they won’t, because they aren’t the one. Before you dramatically say to yourself and your friends: “I am going to be single forever,” you will try online dating and boy you will meet a lot of “interesting” men, HOWEVER, you will also meet your other half.

You used to believe that marriage was only a piece of paper but you are in for a surprise…something does shift; never in your life have you ever felt love for someone to this extent or felt loved by someone to this extent. When he is away at work or you are parted (temporarily) for whatever reason you literally feel lost, uncomfortable and like half of your heart/soul is missing. It is overwhelming –that is worth the wait, Ms. Impatient!

We both know that your teenage years were a little tumultuous with your father’s illness and death and your relationship with your mother. You could never understand her and you felt like she would never understand you; oh the teenage angst. For some reason you felt this resentment, this irritation. Your bond will be tested but eventually you will have to let go and realize that she did the best she could with what she had. I really wish you figured this out sooner, but I guess it really is “never too late!” Her checking out which made you feel like you were on your own was a result of her grief. Her sudden realization that she needs to be a mother and of course the imposition of rules which you thought was garbage was her just trying to regain control in a world where she didn’t have much. After all, she couldn’t control your father’s illness or death or the shitty demise of our family as your father’s side seemed to cut and run when you both needed them the most. Her hoarding was a result of trying to hold on to her life before and fill her new life with something/anything.

Your high school friends that you deemed to be more important than family (your mother) will no longer be given a second thought once you go to Alberta for university despite the promises you made to one another. BUT… you will meet your ride or die, your bottom hand, your sister by choice, your best friend. That friendship is the definition of Anais Nin’s quote, “[e]ach friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Back to the tumultuous teenage years; your issues with self-esteem resulted in cutting and disordered eating; you eventually kicked them both but you really needed to commit to a life of mindful practice and healthy eating and exercise a lifestyle you will need to work on even in your 30s and wish you started sooner.

The driest piece of advice or rather the most ‘adultish’ piece of advice I would like to impart to you is the importance of financial planning. Go to the bank, meet with a planner, set yourself up to truly have a golden future/retirement. Invest, buy RRSPs and get life insurance. BUT! Don’t hoard your money use it to enjoy life, go on adventures, travel, do what you love before it is too late to do those things –think how young your dad was when he died. Plus, it will make you a more interesting person, it will broaden your horizons and give your life meaning; you can’t take it with you in the end after all.  

Sincerely,
34 Y/O Lila

And now for a blast from the past….

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Reflections & Lifestyle

Resolutions

2021 HAS to be better than 2020; it just has to be…

Normally, I don’t bother making resolutions because I haven’t been successful in keeping them, so I just avoided the pressure and disappointment entirely. Since I made it through the pandemic. I will be making a resolution and sticking to it. This year will be the year of taking better care of myself physically and mentally.

Sub-Resolution 1: Lose weight

  • I have put on quite a bit of weight over the last few years; and even morso during quarantine. I slimmed down a bit for my wedding but it didn’t last. It has taken me awhile to realize that it isn’t about losing weight until I hit the magic number on the scale and then wildly yo-yo-ing. I have to make a conscious decision to keep the weight off consistently, to be proactive.

Sub-Resolution 2: Improve my (diet/exercise) habits

  • There are no gyms nearby, and my workout buddy lives in Calgary. I need to make sure that the time I carve out to workout is not being sacrificed for something else. Unfortunately there are only so many hours in a day and something has to give; and ultimately it has been this aspect of my personal care. I have sacrificed working out for marking, planning, cooking, cleaning, watching TV, completing my masters, playing Candy Crush, etc. I also have been eating pretty terribly since the fall. I live on convenience food like sandwiches and pre-made, processed foods because it has seemed easier than cooking for one. Eating garbage has made me feel like garbage; no energy to workout even if I wanted to. I was the queen of make ahead meals, I have to reclaim my throne. It saved me a lot of time throughout the week; time that I could use to work out or do the other things that I sacrificed my workouts for in the first place. In addition, I also have to be more consistent at taking my vitamins.

Sub-Resolution 3: Cut out alcohol

  • I don’t drink excessively, however this is one less thing I can keep out of my system. Plus, it will help me avoid the excruciating migraines I have been battling since age eleven. I probably should have done this one sooner; but I was young and dumb.

Sub-Resolution 4: Cut out caffeine

  • There is a teacher meme that states: “Coffee: Turning tired teachers into superheroes on a daily basis!” This is accurate. There have been days where I consumed four or more cups of coffee, especially during report card season. There have been days where I get the shakes because I haven’t had enough coffee. Every night after dinner I have a cup of coffee with my husband. Sadly, I’ll admit that I probably drink more pop or juice on a daily basis than water. So I’m going to limit myself to the recommended daily allotment of caffeine and up my water intake considerably. 
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Reflections & Lifestyle

Tis The (Ice Fishing) Season

6:30AM: The alarm goes off and I sleepily make way to kitchen to turn the Keurig on and let the dog out.

6:40AM: Teeth are brushed, hair is tamed and I’ve donned my sexy thermal underwear.

6:45AM: Scarfing down bites of avocado toast between gulps of coffee, while my husband loads the last of the gear into the Dodge pick-up truck.

7:00AM: Pull on my SHE camo bibs, coat and toque. Adjust the laces of my Windriver boots.

7:05AM: zip the dog into his Tanglefree vest and secure him in the backseat of the cab 

7:10AM: We make our way to the lake, with a quick stop at the gas station for bottles of water, snacks and maggots. 

7:25AM: With windows rolled down we bump along the rutted trail to our favourite spot (and no, I won’t tell you where it is). 

7:50AM: We arrive after stopping to talk to fellow anglers about the conditions, hooks and other bits of idle chit-chat.

7:55AM: I start digging a place for the tent while my husband cuts the holes with his trusty auger, named Ethyl; two holes for me and two holes for him.

8:03AM: He sets up the tent and Jawjackers while I scoop the slush from the holes: careful not to drop it down… down to the deep.

8:15AM: Tent in place, tied to the truck and the bottom flaps covered in snow.

8:20AM: The rest of the gear unloaded and strategically arranged in the tent (propane heater, chairs, bucket of rods, reels, cases of hooks, scale, clippers, you name it).

8:25AM: The Marcum and other two rods are set up, right around 10 feet down.; while the pup snores away happily next to us on his mat.

8:30-9:00AM: Like clockwork we start to mark them; big fat fish swims past my hook… now we wait…

Throughout the day my husband catches some; fights them adeptly like a professional; careful not to lose them at the hole. The Jawjackers miss a few or rather we do, not able to get out of the tent fast enough. And I get skunked.

Mid afternoon we clean up, head home for a nice warm shower and a proper lunch. Once the fish are cleaned my husband starts to think about how to change our luck. 

An early to bed so we can get up and do it all again tomorrow morning…

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Reflections & Lifestyle

The Daily Three: Carrington Gratitude Exercise

Several years ago, I attended a PD session; and it was a much needed wake up call for me not only professionally but also personally. It came at a time were I was beginning to feel myself slipping into a nasty case of winters blues and burnout in general.  And I also felt like I was spending too much time on my phone and not enough time communicating meaningfully and in person with the people I love. The session was given by Alberta based clinical psychologist, Dr. Jody Carrington. She speaks very frankly on a variety of topics including: relationships, parenting, compassion fatigue, grief, leadership and trauma. I would say that by far this is THE greatest session I had been to in a VERY LONG TIME. If you ever get a chance to see her, I highly recommended it; even if you can’t, follow her on Instagram! I thoroughly enjoyed her book, Kids These Days!
 
One of the many items she talked about was that we find it difficult to be joyful; we are always preparing for the worst or we forget to “lean into joy” and ultimately gratitude. Basically we need to consciously articulate joy in our lives. She suggested that we all think of THREE things each day that gave us joy or that we were grateful /thankful for, no matter how small or silly it may seem. She said that we should do this until Christmas break and it would “change our lives.” A co-worker and I made a pact to follow her advice. I cannot begin to tell you the difference that this has made to my mood, energy level, classroom practice and to my relationships with family and friends. So here is what I found joy/gratitude in from November 1st to December 20th. 

1.Coworkers
2. Gauge, my dog
3. Jody Carrington session
4. Treats in the staff room
5. Generosity of people
6. That my grade 9s  were so well behaved and mature
7. Hunting; so I can watch a field full of does feeding while their fawns frolick
8.Coffee in the morning
9. Sunny weather during winter
10. Cuddling
11. Getting an extra hour of sleep
12. Being able to finally read a book for pleasure
13. That my friend who was in a car accident is on the mend
14. Funny teacher memes
15. Sloths
16. Getting an encouraging email from a parent
17. Being almost done report cards
18. Look on my neighbour’s face when I gave her a thank you gift
19. A grade 7 dressed up as a Trex for spirit day (showing exemplary school spirit)
20. A student who was concussed is getting back to her old self
21. When grade 9s did well with their letters to the justice minister
22. Chatting with students about Star Wars
23. My grade 7s love inreach class with me and seek it out
24. Our secretary brought dip two days in a row and the English teacher brought Krispy Kreme
25. Report cards are done
26. It is Friday
27. My best friend is coming over for the weekend from Calgary
28. Good food
29. Great wine
30. Adventures in Edmonton
31. Made quiche for the first time and it turned out very well (and was a hit with guests)
32. Garth Brooks sing along in the car
33. Great service from salespeople (just happy and super helpful; love what they do)
34. That I have the day off so I can recover from the plague without having to do sub plans
35. The Happiness Planner (I filled it in the other day with Megan but I read it over today)
36. Laundry and dishes are done; so I’m feeling productive (sick but productive
37. There was extra Cobbs Bread in the staff room so we all got to take some home
38. Macaroni & Cheese
39. Only have 1 set of assignments to mark (basically caught myself up today) 
40. Got to see Kim today after what seems like a million years
41. Celebrating a coworker and wishing her well on her retirement 
42. The art kids wrote messages of “get well” on my whiteboard and drew me pictures 
43. Bird feeders
44. Aaron rubbed mint oil on my back so now it hurts less from coughing
45. Getting to hang out with my friend and her kids (virtual coffee date)
46. Seminars are planned (just a few little things to make, print & copy left) 
47. Seeing my cousin Adam & Adeline
48. Awesome in-laws 
49. Authentic Indian food 
50. Vancouver without any rain 
51. Fleece blankets 
52. Ginger tea 
53. Booze at a baby shower 
54. Hubby is on the mend after dental surgery
55. The greatest sloth gift ever (a mini Sebastian in a onesie) from Kim because she came back to work! (2 things in one)
56. Sub plans are finished
57. Adorable shop cat
58. My DES 1010 kids earned their credit
59. Got to visit with my aunt 
60. Apple crisp in the staff room 
61. My DES 1020 kid earned their credit
62. Hump day candy and chips 
63. Found a new favourite Chinese food place 
64. Fuzzy socks
65. Cruising with Aaron 
66. PD planning with Kim 
67. It’s Friday! 
68. Coming home to see that Aaron started to clean the kitchen 
69. Murphy Brown reboot
70. Sleeping in
71. A hot cup of coffee
72. Mayans season finale
73. Cheesy romantic Christmas movies
74. Seeing the wild cat we found is getting chubbier, stronger and braver
75. Watching Gauge roll around in the snow 
76. Freezer food; otherwise I would starve 
77. Christmas decorations at work
78. My grade 11s were so productive today 
79. Aaron is on his way home 
80. Really good discussion about cultural contact and relationship building with the 7s 
81. Purdys is dealt with and we fundraised $520
82. Best sloth puppet ever
83. Furniture arrived
84. Finding out that Aaron’s dental coverage is really good 
85. Christmas gift idea from Deb 
86. When a coworker gives you her sub so you can get caught up on marking
87. When a student realizes you were right about using worktime 
88. Perogy deliciousness
89. Christmas card creation was a success with the art kids
90. Knowing that the Dr. Carrington challenge starts tomorrow
91. Christmas shopping with Aaron
92. Got my ring cleaned; I love sparkly things
93. Supporting my friend’s crafting business
94. Cranberry ginger ale
95. My new light up snowman decoration
96. Plowed driveway
97. Snow day
98. Ordered Aaron’s gift
99. New Kate Spade wallet from a generous coworker 
100. Poinsettias are gorgeous
101. Pioneer Woman magazine; winter edition
102. Aaron put the tree up and made goose jerky and soup
103. Pajama Day
104. Phone call with my Calgary bestie
105. Sex and the City reruns
106. Poutine for dinner
107. Great class with the 9s
108. Having an understanding friend who listens to my rants
109. Sculpting Christmas ornaments
110. Donair
111. Happy puppy
112. Clean house
113. Tree is all decorated
114. Watching my nieces and nephew make a gingerbread house
115. Morning snuggles on the couch with my youngest niece watching cooking shows
116. Wrapping presents
117. Christmas scented candles
118. Kim’s bangs; because they look good and she feels so happy about her new look
119. Double prep in the morning
120. Learning how to shellac my own nails at home
121. Delicious cookie from one of my students
122. No tech glitches
123. Having a nice meal
124. Self car bingo cards
125. Great laughs with coworkers & Ed’s hashbrown casserole in the staff room
126. Social 9 class worked so well considering it was an 80 minute block (and we are inching closer to Christmas break)
127. Coming home to see a Christmas light surprise (Aaron bought lights to string along the driveway fence)
128. Rapping  the clean version of “Lose Yourself” with Kim for the 7s
129. Grade 7 comic strips are looking so awesome
130. Drinks with Jess
131. Epic band concert
132. Purdy’s orders came in and was right
133. Andrew’s Christmas sweater
134. Receiving and reading the first Christmas cards of the season
135. Decluttering
136. Cousin in law becoming a nurse practitioner
137. Fixed a really special Christmas ornament finally; that broke like 6 years ago
138. Watching Home Alone movies while Aaron brines whitefish (smells soooo good!)
139. Crazy good sales at Indigo
140. Incredibly thoughtful and beautiful gifts from one of my students
141. All the treats in the staff room
142. Survived Monday before winter break
143. Lose Yourself was on the radio on the way to school
144. Chinese food
145. Secret Santa gift
146. Google Meets with the 8s
147. Charlie Brown Christmas Mural
148. Watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation while enjoying a cup of coffee


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Health & Beauty Reflections & Lifestyle

Dear Loved Ones…

When I started my career I went to a “Beginning Teachers Conference,” the excitement, hope and energy permeated the air. Fresh out of university I was one of those eager beavers ready to embark on my first contract. In one session they told us (and showed us with a fancy little graph) that our first year would be a roller coaster of: anticipation, survival, disillusionment, rejuvenation and reflection. After twelve years of teaching I have found that this cycle is not restricted only to year one; it is every year. This is a career of high HIGHS and low LOWS. It is rewarding, it is exhausting, it is heartbreaking, it is exciting. I regarded my teachers; the ones who I remember vividly, the ones who made a lasting impression on me, as saints. I wanted to be just like them –to make a difference! It has taken over twelve years (and a pandemic) to realize one very important lesson.

I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND MY OWN WELL-BEING BEFORE I CAN BE EFFECTIVE. TEACHING IS NOT ABOUT SACRIFICING EVERY FIBRE OF YOUR BEING UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. 

Ultimately, your ‘tank’ needs to be full and constantly replenished before driving along the road of teaching and learning with your students. As teachers, we constantly worry about our students emotional and physical wellbeing but we are reluctant to think about or worry about our own; because we feel guilty. We feel guilty for taking an hour long break from our marking to go and take a Yoga class with a friend or we feel guilty for declining to coach a sports team because we need some extra time at home with our own families. So we acquiesce and give too much. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a crappy job at 100 things but I really want to be able to do an excellent job at 10 things. We have to start practicing self-care. Otherwise, we will burnout out, we will leave a profession we love (minus the bureaucratic BS), we will end up damaging important relationships in our lives, we will sink into depression and we will fall victim to compassion fatigue.

The longer your tank is on empty the longer that disillusionment stage will last. It will never completely go away because we will get frustrated. That is understandable, we work with so many children, parents and policymakers all with different ideas about what education (and your job as a teacher) is and should be. We are forced to reconcile all those ideas on top of all the other tasks we perform both inside and outside of the classroom. If we focus on wellbeing as part of the process of teaching rather than at the end when we are in a negative, broken place we can mitigate the disillusionment.

For a stark wake up call about the state of teacher mental health, feel free to check out this article: How COVID-19 Has Influenced Teacher’s Well-Being

For teachers looking to manage their stress and invest in themselves and prioritize their well being check out Natalie McCully’s Pinterest Board

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Reflections & Lifestyle

From: A Shiftworker’s Wife

You may recall from my post on July, that I had a list of 10 things I endeavour to do or remember to keep in mind when I miss my husband while he is working away. Some of my friends who don’t have spouses that work away have asked me, how we do it? Or how do I stand it? It is simple, first of all …

1. Surround yourself with family
This seems self explanatory and I don’t just mean your own family but his as well.  His family helps make it seem like he isn’t gone. We both miss him terribly. My husband’s family is truly amazing. They have stepped in to help me with absolutely anything and everything. I absolutely love being apart of their family and can’t thank them enough for all they have done for my husband and I. 

2. Communicate as much as possible
Text or call or email every morning and every night and of course when you can throughout the day; we say good morning and good night every day. It starts us both off on a good footing, because the first thing I read is his message and it is the last thing I read before bed.

My husband always says that he is there to work, eat, sleep, repeat with little interaction with others; after all shiftmates end up on different sites and contractors come and go. With that kind of isolation at work, communication with your partner back home becomes super important to actively foster. Plus, it has allowed me to get a greater understanding and appreciation of what he does. The interest I show (and what he shows in my work, and I’m sure he has had to Google educational paradigms, curriculum initiatives and teacher acronyms to understand me) helps us feel better about being apart.

3 & 4. Get off the couch & Hobbies
And this has definitely been a priority for me as it aligns very closely with my New Years resolutions. I found it easy to fall into a bit of a depression when my husband is gone. Partly, because I miss him like crazy and also because we share the same hobbies so all the things that I derive joy from doing are very much tied to him and I didn’t feel like doing them unless he was around, it felt weird. I will admit, reluctantly that there have been weekends where I have gotten up and then just basically layed on the couch in pajamas till noon (or occasionally sometimes all day), just staring at the television like a zombie. Lately, instead of lazing on the couch and missing out on life, I have been putting in a workout DVD.

It is important to find yourself some hobbies; hobbies that are independent from him. It also helps you get off the couch; it takes your mind off missing him. I knew that I had to really work hard to figure out other things to do on my own and that were nearby otherwise I wouldn’t want to drive the hour into Edmonton. 

5. Lists
I make a lot of lists of what I need to do when my husband is away.  It keeps me motivated and it keeps me distracted. It also helps make sure that I get everything done that I need to, so when he is home we both have fewer chores to do and can maximize the amount of fun we can have together.

6. Clean House
In terms of the division of labour in our household, the housework is under my domain. I know that I may get criticized for this, but I prefer it this way. I grew up in a household with a traditional blue/pink – male/female job dynamic. My husband not only works away a week at a time, swinging nights to days but he also runs our business on top of doing innumerable things around the house. He doesn’t demand a spotless house; he understands that occasionally I might let the dishes pile up, the dust accumulate, the grocery shopping is overdue and that I have once again left the laundry in the dryer (especially during report card time). However, after living in camps or in a rented room I can only imagine that coming home to a clean house feels fantastic. Making sure I stay on top of it makes me happier, makes me feel like I am contributing and the less time I spend cleaning when he is home, the more time I can spend with him.

7. Meal Planning
If it was up to me and I hadn’t made a resolution to eat better, I would simply just eat crap while my husband is away. Meal planning has allowed me to eat better, and as a result feel better. I like planning out what I will cook for us when he is home.

8. Make Gestures
Even though I hate it when he has to leave, I try to do some things to help make it easier on him.

-make meals for him to take to work (I like doing this so he doesn’t have to worry about preparing meals himself and that way he doesn’t have to resort to convenience food)
-fold his laundry and help him pack
-stock the house with stuff that he likes (make sure he has his favourite coffee and snacks)
-wait up for him when he comes home

9. Don’t Cry
My husband knows that I cry when he leaves. I try not to pout or cry in front of him though; because it is hard enough on him already. Although I am sure he is touched that I love him that much but I know that he HATES seeing me cry…and he definitely doesn’t want to be the reason that I do.

10. Love
Don’t forget that bottom line; he is working his butt off for the family. Out of necessity. Out of love. Don’t forget to make time for love.

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

Challenging Stereotypes

My best friend and I lightheartedly refer to each other as “Country Babe” and “City Babe.” I grew up in Vancouver and traded the city for country life in rural Alberta. She grew up in a very small town but relocated to the big city of Calgary. We both have traits that are a little country and little city.

There are a few stereotypes that go along with these identities of “Country Babe” and “City Babe,” however, we don’t always fit the mould.

Outdoors & Hobbies: Typically it is thought that country babes in general live for camping, fishing, quading, mudding and hunting. And while I love all of the above (except for mudding) I also enjoy going to the theatre to see musicals and ballet. I am also a HUGE Cirque du Soleil fan. Trips to the Art Gallery and museums are also on my to do list.

Lifestyle: Typically it is thought that country babes in general are sassy, “work hard & play hard” and love animals. True to fashion; this does describe me, however, my love of animals are limited to cats and dogs…Having never experienced farm life, I have NEVER ridden a horse, milked a cow or tended chickens.

Music: Typically it is thought that country babes in general rock out to the likes of Carrie Underwood, Reba MacIntire, Luke Bryan, Garth Brooks and many other talented country music artists. While I do appreciate this genre of music I also have 90s pop, rock and metal radio stations on my presets list.

Clothes: Typically it is thought that country babes in general don the following articles of clothing… cowgirl boots, jeans, flannel shirts, big belt buckles and camouflage. True to fashion; I do own A LOT of camo used for both hunting and for occasional day-wear BUT I spend most of my time in formal clothes for work. I enjoy getting all “gussied up” in “fancy clothes” to have a night on the town at a hot new restaurant in city with bestie. Also, this country babe doesn’t own boots and a big belt buckle.

Attraction: Typically it is thought that country babes in general fall for men who have strong family values, are fit, often have a farmer’s tan and drive a truck. Even though Mr. Country Babe does tick these boxes there are so many more wonderful qualities he possesses; and the previously mentioned traits were not the only reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.

Vehicles: Typically it is thought that country babes in general drive lifted vehicles like a truck with big tires. But, I have a plain jane SUV that is automatic…I can’t even drive a stick. And, I have only driven a truck a handful of times.

Nightlife: Typically it is thought that country babes in general like to party it up and chug beers and dance the night away. While I do enjoy sitting around the fire with friends having a few drinks (not limited to beer) I am not attending  (nor have ever attended) country dances in barns. Secret: I doesn’t even know how to two-step! However, I did enjoy square dancing lessons in high school gym class.