Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

The Next Generation of Outdoors(wo)men

With summer fast approaching I have been looking forward to all the time I will get to spend outside with my family; I am so excited. Our nephew and nieces were over for the weekend; on the way home from the grocery store my nephew pulled out one of my husband’s Alberta Outdoorsman magazines from the seat pocket in front of him and started thumbing through it. He proudly announced, “I’m going to read Uncle’s hunting magazine!” The day before he said, “Remember when Uncle and I went ice fishing, just the two of us?!?…that was a great day!” When he left to go home, he happily told me that the next time he was over when Uncle was home they were going to “shoot his bow and BB gun!” It got me thinking about our next generation of outdoorsmen/outdoorswomen. We are very fortunate to have the kids in our family interested in our hobbies and that they genuinely enjoy them. From the beginning the kids were exposed to hunting and fishing; they have become increasingly more interested and involved. As a teacher, I’m always excited and impressed when my students show me photos from their hunting and fishing adventures.

We feel it is important for kids to be outside; far too often they are plugged into whatever electronic device is most captivating –whether it is an iPad, computer or TV. We have all probably seen the commercials for GoRving Canada that features the following narration…

“Kids want their wildhoods back. They want to play not have playdates. Get dirty not sanitized. They want you to trade your parenting books for a fishing rod. They want to wander. Be left alone for more than five minutes. They want to sleep in a bunk. Stare at the stars past their bedtime. They want to eat with their hands. Eat from a stick. Visit their neighbour without a chaperone. They want to run, skip, and roam free. Let’s give them what they are truly missing. Let’s give them back their wildhoods.”

This definitely sums up our philosophy and the experiences we want our nieces, nephew and my students to have. Even if they decide in the future they don’t want to hunt and fish I hope that they continue to enjoy the great outdoors and nature in a capacity that best suits them (camping, hiking, rock climbing, gardening, canoeing, etc.).

One place where kids can experience their “wildhoods,” in Alberta is at Alford Lake Conservation Education Centre. I have known many youth who have attended this facility and they LOVED it. They were able to take part in centrefire rifle and black power shooting as well as archery. Some of the kids learned the basics of crossbow and fly-fishing when they attended the camp. In addition, at Alford Lake,  youth learn about small game hunting, pest control and trapping. After learning how to safely operate shotguns kids can test their aim at trap shooting.  Survival skills and geocaching treks are also part of the experience there. There are waterfowl, whitetail, butchery and re-loading sessions as well. I wish that I had had an opportunity to attend something like this when I was in school.

I came across an awesome post on www.wideopenspace.com while I was researching. It was called 10 Reasons to Teach Children to Hunt; I highly recommend you read it in full. A few points really jumped out at me. According to this post the number one reason is “Bonding Time.” When I watch my husband teaching our youngest niece to duck call, teaching our nephew how to hit the kill spot on the deer decoy with his new bow or teaching our oldest niece how to safely handle a firearm, of course makes my heart melt because it is not only ridiculously adorable but because I know that they strengthening their relationships; they are growing closer and closer. The time we spend with them (not the stuff we give them) is what matters most in this life and they are beginning to understand this, even at their young ages and they do crave the time we spend with them in this capacity.

The second reason the post discusses is, “Tradition;” the kids have become accustomed to the routines in our lives. They know the seasons for hunting and fishing. They know that in July and August we set up the game cameras (they change out the batteries, go along for walks to retrieve and set them out, they get excited when my husband shows them the deer pictures). They know that in September and October we are scouting for birds and they eagerly look out the windows when they come with us. They know that in November, uncle is sporting his hunting beard and lucky hoodie. They know where the best spots on the lake are for catching Walleye and Whitefish during the ice fishing season. They know that every time they come out they get to be ‘outdoorsman/ outdoorswomen.’ They seem to want to grow up to be like their Uncle; so maybe one day when they have their own nieces and nephews or children; they will pass on the knowledge and skills that we have taught them.

Outdoor pursuits such as hunting and fishing are important for conservation. And being an ethical hunter and angler are vital. The post from wideopenspaces.com lists learning “Conservation” as number three. Wanting to emulate her brother, my niece also grabbed one of my husband’s hunting magazines. In the rear-view mirror I saw my nephew explaining the difference between an elk and deer to her, telling her what types of fish were in the advertisements. She turned a page and gasped. I asked her what was wrong. My nephew answered for her; he said it was a picture of coyote pelts. He then explained to his sister about predator control. At their young ages they know why some fish cannot be kept and why you can only keep a certain number of others.

Numbers eight and nine are “Teaching Responsibility” and “Building Confidence,” and they go hand in hand –taking on responsibility, being considered mature enough to take part in hunting and other outdoor activities increases confidence. It is one thing to tell kids to be responsible or what it means to be responsible but  it is another to take part in a real-life activity where kids are shown and then have to demonstrate responsibility. I am confident that our nieces and nephew will grow up to not only be ethical outdoorsmen and outdoorswomen but good people who know that all things and people are deserving of respect. As a teacher I have unfortunately seen the causes of and the effects of low self-esteem in youth. Fostering the next generation of outdoorsman and outdoorswomen may help to alleviate some of these issues. Not only will our nieces and nephew be surrounded by an incredible community of supportive hunters and anglers, but they will have a hobby that gets them off the couch and out in nature; and they can take pride in harvesting their animals and feel a sense of worth because they have provided food for our family.

In closing, let’s celebrate and encourage our next generation of outdoorsmen and outdoorswomen. Let’s bond with them, let’s teach them, and let’s help them grow into responsible, ethical and confident people.

Categories
Health & Beauty Reflections & Lifestyle

Books That Make You Think: Mindset Change

mindset
/ˈmīn(d)set/

noun
1. the established set of attitudes held by someone.

Spring Break and Easter weekend were spent soaking up the wise words of Dr. Jody Carrington and Dr. Greg Wells. Their books made me examine and challenge my mindset both as a teacher and individual. Sometimes we get stuck in our ways however, it is important to hit the pause button and re-evaluate. 

I was introduced to Dr. Carrington and her work at a professional development session last year and I participated it her Re-Connection Challenge during the month of December which I wrote about here. I even still keep a list of three things each day that brought me joy. The second her book, Kids These Days: A Game Plan For (Re)connecting With Those We Teach, Lead, & Love was available I ordered a copy. Dr. Carrington is an Alberta based clinical psychologist who speaks very frankly on a variety of topics including: relationships, parenting, compassion fatigue, grief, leadership and trauma. 

Her book of course reminds us about how disconnected we really are and how it is so crucial to bet back to basics and reconnect with those in our care and in our life. She offers practical advice on how to do this so that we can all “keep our lids on” and when we can’t, how to get them back on again. She turns some long standing education philosophies regarding classroom management, rewards/punishments, coding/testing and behaviour on their head. I shed some tears especially with respect to her chapters on trauma and grief and I did a lot of reflecting on my classroom practice and thought a lot about my students to further understand their situation and the relationships we have built and how to be better at it. 

As for, Dr. Wells; he was a keynote speaker at our Teachers’ Convention in Edmonton in February. He is a health and performance physiologist; after a stint in the hospital for a heart infection he started to think about life choices and the interconnection between sleep, diet, exercise and mindset and how by making even 1% changes in each can maximize your dreams; your health and your life. His session and book, Ripple Effect couldn’t have come at a better time in my life –I wanted to make changes and this really forced me to wake up and do it now. I also realized just how simple the changes he suggested really were and too be honest I felt a little guilty that I hadn’t done them before. Most alarming for me was just how little I knew about food and nutrition. We really are the product of our environment however we should never be resigned to that lot in life; if we do (or are) then that environment can severely harm us. The lessons contained in his book can help me and can work wonders for my students.

After reading I committed to following in each of the areas…

Sleep

  • Saving caffeine for the morning
  • Getting off the screen for at least an hour before bedtime
  • Lowering the temperature in my bedroom
  • Getting at least 8 hours of sleep

Exercise

  • Get moving more
  • Get outside more

Diet

  • Drink more water
  • Learning more about nutrition so I can revise the choices I make regarded fats and carbohydrates (ultimately this is where I falter the most)


Mental Health/Mindset

  • Focus rather than multi-task
  • Document and optimize my ‘in the zone’ time
  • Utilize positive self talk
Categories
Entertainment Reflections & Lifestyle

Flashback Friday: A Typical Girl’s Weekend

Before the pandemic and all the restrictions; at least once a month we got together; it was mandatory! And when we did there was generally a trend…

In the week leading up to a weekend reunion, we exchange a lot of texts to get an idea of what we want to do for the weekend and what the ‘traveler’ should pack because you just can’t bring your whole wardrobe – or house!

Friday night is reunion night! After a two and a half hour drive, or excitedly waiting for those hours, we are finally reunited and a few squeals and hugs upon arrival we settle in for the night. Usually this involves a meal either ordered-in or whipped up quickly. Think pizza (usually loaded with veg), mac and cheese – a real comfort food kind of night with a hint of nostalgia for our university days. A glass of wine or fancy cocktail is a must and so is a healthy dose of GOSSIP catching up. Once we have exhausted all of our news, we plan our activities for the next few days. For some reason (maybe because we are “old” 30-somethings), we are never able to stay up late and usually are exhausted and ready for bed by 10 or 11pm. 

Saturday morning is usually an early one: (1) because we want to soak up as much time together as possible, and (2) because we have a crap load of things to cram into our only full day. Mornings always start with a nice cup of coffee and a big breakfast – waffles complete with fruit and bacon. With the crappy winter light, we spend our mornings staging photos like crazy for our upcoming blogs that we are simultaneously brainstorming and drafting. Whether in Calgary or around Edmonton we always try to do a few things that we haven’t done before or haven’t done in a while. For example, checking out Granary Road or going to the Art Gallery of Alberta.

Being the foodies that we are we either opt for a delicious (and perhaps more expensive than normal) lunch or dinner. Our go-to’s are sushi and Indian food, or checking out a new restaurant – and we spend a lot of time researching new-to-us spots to eat. We always end up ordering the SAME thing off the menu or strategically narrow the menu down to two must have items and then share. After savouring our meal, we do a bit of window shopping and errands before heading home.

Once at home we either work on our blogging some more and go through photos taken on our adventure and watch a good stand up comedy or classic episode of a show we also used to watch together like Sex and the City or binge watching something on the Food Network. And then stay up talking some more for a while.

Sunday is bittersweet and a bit more mellow. It’s the last few hours together before one of us heads back home. We still do a big breakfast, get the last minute things together and then relax and get ready to go back to our lives apart.

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

Pet Necessities

As waterfowlers who hunt both professionally and personally having a birddog is crucial. My husband and I contacted Trailrunners in Big River, Saskatchewan, in 2016. We had seen their incredible dogs at the Edmonton Boat & Sportsman Show for years and were blown away by their abilities as well as the dedication of the Oudshoorn Family. We very much appreciate their mission. They seek to “strengthen and promote the healthy bloodlines of the working Labrador retriever in Canada and the world. [T]o produce a superior Labrador, whose purpose is to serve and benefit humankind in the most meaningful ways possible.” We welcomed Gauge to our family in November and then took him back to Trailrunners the following March for almost five months of intensive training with them.

He underwent obedience training, learned how to properly heel and walk beside us, he learned how to fetch on command, perform various drills relating to hunting and working, loading in and out of a vehicle, his kennel and blind, in addition to water steadiness and of course gun safety. Overall, our dog’s transformation was remarkable; he left us an anxious little puppy and came home a confident dog eager to get into the field; desperate to work. Because of this, Gauge was even able to obtain his Junior Hunt Certification in Saskatoon.  He had a successful first season with us in September/October of 2017. We cannot thank the staff and the Oudshoorn family enough for the time and care they took with Gauge. 

Gauge is a beloved member of our family however,  he is also a specially trained working dog. His needs and typical (material) necessities are different than that of a traditional pet. We have to work with him constantly and there are a few products that make it all possible.

Dogtra E-Collar
“In order to prepare your dog to perform the necessary tasks for hunting, you will need to train them on a number of behaviors as well as several commands. The most modern hunters rely on Dogtra e-collars to help them get ready in the field…so you can easily and powerfully reinforce all the behaviors and responses necessary for an effective hunt.”


Tanglefree Flight Series Dog Blind
“Keep your favorite hunting partner hidden and protected from the harshest conditions. The new Flight Series Dog Blind is built with a corrosion resistant aluminum frame and 600D Polyester Optifade material, it is sure to handle anything Mother Nature can dish out. With a double entry door, extra stubble straps for adaptability and a low profile, your companion will be ready to work all day.”

Tanglefree Flight Series Dog Vest
“For dogs that hunt as hard as you do, this vest will keep them afloat longer, and more comfortable on long cold retrieves. Made out of neoprene with a centered grab handle built in. Offered in both GORE OPTIFADE Concealment Waterfowl Marsh and Timber Patterns.” Gauge spends time in the winter going ice fishing with my husband. We zip him up in his vest and he hangs out on his dog bed in the tent.

Tanglefree Bumpers/Practice Birds
Whether it is a mallard or bumper pack, having these allows us “to cover all training simulations and exercises needed to get [our] dog ready for the fall…Tanglefree dog bumpers have the durability to provide [us] and [our] hunting partner with plenty of training activity in the off-season.” We also have a simulated goose, that Gauge loves to practice with.

Dog Run
At 85 pounds and super active, Gauge is not really a house pet. In the winter he spends more time inside as the freezing temperatures make it unsafe for him (or any dog) to be outside for any length of time. But, during the spring and summer he spends lots of time outside with us. When he isn’t practising, hunting, fishing or hanging out in shade while I garden, he gets a chance to be a puppy and run around his deluxe dog run that my husband and I built for him; complete with a few toys, dog house and food/water tray.


Origen Food
Nutrition is just as important for a dog as it is for us, so we choose to feed Gauge (as well as our cats) Origen food. Typically we give him Regional Red but he also enjoys Original and Six Fish. For a treat he gets moose bones. We like that this brand of food is, “biologically appropriate, [uses] fresh regional ingredients [and is] never outsourced.”

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

Reverse Bucket List

In need of some inspiration for this week’s contribution to the blog, I started off the morning with a cup of coffee and my computer. There are some amazing blogs out there from women of all walks of life about a variety of topics near and dear to their hearts. I read blogs about Catherine Middleton, recipes, clothing, teaching/education, hunting, fishing, gardening and of course blogging and owning your own business. I came across The Uncaged Life a few months ago. In her own blogpost, The Reverse Bucket List, Becca Tracey reminds us that although it is important to think about the future (where and how we get there) it is very important to reflect on what we have already achieved and how those experiences (both positive and negative) have shaped who we are today. In fact it is vital to never discount our past and to be grateful for it. At the end, Ms. Tracey challenged her readers to “create [their] own list of 50 accomplishments; [reminding us] that nothing is insignificant,” (2017). The author says that this is a great way to, “[c]elebrate your past, and get ready to rock your world when you see just how awesome you already ARE,” (2017).  I figured that I would share mine with you all. Please note that these milestones are in no particular order or occurrence or importance.

1. Have the opportunity to shape the lives of young people each and everyday
2. Learned to fly
3. Had a poem published
4. Read the complete works of Jane Austen and Agatha Christie
5. Sturgeon fishing in the Fraser River
6. Worked in a Sickbay with members of the Canadian Armed Forces
7. Won scholarship money
8. Was a Master of Ceremonies for a large event
9. Experienced great food and art in France and Italy
10. Found solutions to body image issues
11. Lived on a floor with 30+ people from all walks of life in university
12. Learned to speak a second language
13. Cared for sick family members
14. Took a gamble
15. Paid off my line of credit in 8 months
16. Took a cruise with my mother
17. Learned how to hunt (and butcher my own food)
18. Took time to travel around United Kingdom to connect with my roots
19. Traded my city lifestyle in for life in the country
20. Had a piece of artwork in a gallery
21. Got my driver’s license after great trepidation and procrastination
22. Read an old journal I kept
23. Writing for a blog
24. Played clarinet in a marching band
25. Completed my Masters degree in education
26. Experienced total and utter grief
27. Survived a hostile work environment
28. Became an aunt
29. Camping trips with my dad when I was young
30. Own my own home
31. Visited the Vatican 
32. Fly-in fishing trips in Northern Alberta
33. Reconnected with estranged family members
34. Rode a motorcycle
35. Put myself out there and tried online dating
36. Joined sea cadets
37. Learned how to say ‘NO’ without guilt
38. Maintenance of important friendships
39. Survived being bullied throughout elementary school
40. Got married
41. Became a blood donor
42. Enjoy good health
43. Moved to a different province
44. Deemed most changed in high school
45. Become honest with myself
46. Marvelled at glaciers in Alaska
47. Salmon fishing in the Pacific Ocean
48. Got through university without any debt/student loans
49. Tried acupuncture
50. Have my own business

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

Teacher Musings: Desk Drawer Essentials

Let me preface this blog post with the following statement: I love my job and I wouldn’t trade it for the world; however there is a fair amount of humor involved in the day to day life of a teacher. The internet abounds with funny quotes and memes about teachers. I have a ton of coffee mugs and clothes with funny teacher quotes; my latest acquisition is a shirt that says: “Teacher?!? I prefer ‘Educational Rockstar’” And every Educational Rockstar should have a well stocked arsenal (desk drawer) of things to get them through the day.

Funky Coloured Pens or Red Pens
To edit, correct and write copious amounts of both summative and formative feedback, that we desperately hope gets read, taken into account and incorporated. But remember, the cooler the colours the more likely they are to get swiped by those sweet, angelic students or other teachers, because you leave them lying around while trying to put out fires all day, standing in line at the photocopier or on a student’s desk when you go over to help them. Sometimes you even stick them behind your ear or in your bun and forget about them, giving your students many laughs as you fumble around looking for them…much like your glasses!

Extra Pencils/Pens/Erasers
Borrowed from the supply cupboard in the staffroom, from your own personal collection or the lost and found. This is a must! In addition to being a teacher you are also a Staples store; there to supply your students with all the things that were listed as mandatory for them to bring to class each day. You know you enable your students to be forgetful by covering for them, but it is waaay better than having them sit in their desks doing nothing. Idle hands do the devil’s work after all. 

Calculator
A calculator that you probably got free at a convention or professional development day; one that you have clearly written your name and room number on so that it doesn’t go missing. It is also one of the things in your desk that when you lend it out to a student, you make them give you their shoe to ensure its prompt return. This is a must, because you are the humanities teacher and not very good at math. Heaven forbid you make a mistake adding up their test mark; you’ll be hearing about it for days….and days…and days…

Hand Sanitizer/Hand Lotion
They are cute but they are germy. It is so much more work to book a substitute than to take preventative measures; you lathering on the hand sanitizer each and every time you collect homework, high five, find yourself on the receiving end of a hug or picking up balled-up Kleenex left on desks or on the floor. Speaking of which you have to run down to the office at break and get another box because they have depleted yours. Of course all that sanitizing and handling paper all day dries out your hands so you slather on hand lotion (non-perfumed of course) so that they don’t crack. Let’s face it during flu season all you really want to wear is a Hazmat suit.


Assorted Medicines (Tylenol & Pepto Bismol)
This you keep in the locked drawer of your desk. Thirty-four students doing group work is louder than a Metallica concert; even when the kids are on task. You probably were already sick or already had a headache but you can’t take a sick day because you have to get through the curriculum and the kids need you. You pop a couple Tylenol with your coffee and power through. Teaching is stressful; the thought of staff meetings, parent-teacher interviews, staying on top of marking, making sure your grading program is calculating properly, doing report cards, volunteering for upteen different extracurricular activities, making phone calls, sending emails, supervising the hallways at lunch, getting together missed work for a student who is going on vacation for two weeks at the last minute, planning the next field trip, planning lessons, getting everything you need prepared for the next day on top of trying to figure out what to make your family for dinner…well let’s just say it can cause you a little bit of indigestion. But don’t worry you have that tasty pink liquid in your desk to take the edge off.

Cough Candies/Chloraseptic Spray
Your voice is your instrument; without it you are useless, without it you are powerless. You need it not only to lecture about the latest unit but you need it to simply have conversations with your students to build relationships. When it feels like you have razor blades in your throat or that nagging cough is interfering with your lesson, you reach for your Halls or your Fisherman’s Friend and keep on talking.

Gum/Toothbrush & Toothpaste
You will inevitably hear from your students that your breath smells, whether it is from your disgusting tasting Fisherman’s Friend, your coffee or your lunch. Aren’t they sweet? We teach them from a young age to be honest, man did that backfire on us!!! If you are lucky enough to have time at lunch (insert laughter here) or have a prep block that doesn’t consist of you madly trying to cross things of your to-do list; you may actually be able to brush your teeth.

Snacks
They probably have to be gluten-free, nut-free and healthy of course; although you sneak a little bit of candy and chocolate in there too. These snacks are not only for you, since you rarely get a lunch and you don’t want the kids to hear your stomach growl during silent reading time but also as bribes for the kids to partake in whatever activity you have planned for the lesson or prizes for random acts of kindness. But you also have snacks in your desk because you know that little Jimmy or little Sally in the back-row, didn’t have breakfast and the thought of that child going hungry all day breaks your heart.

Deodorant
You’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day, your FitBit is telling you that you have really put on the miles and burnt a million calories; you are sweaty! You can’t smell like a junior high kid fresh out of gym so between classes you quickly apply more.

Random Things
This is the collection of confiscated items that you still have to return. The things kids bring to school nowadays…

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

An Ode to Strong Women

Today is March 8th, it is also International Women’s Day; it is a day to celebrate the movement for women’s rights. Originally celebrated on February 28, 1909 as National Women’s Day in New York it steadily gained momentum over the years until it was eventually adopted by the United Nations in 1975 and formally recognized in 1977. I thought that I would share with you an ode to strong women; the women that I look up to and are grateful to for blazing the trail; knowing that without their blood, sweat and tears, we may not enjoy the freedom, opportunities or lifestyle that we do today. I also applaud the efforts of those who continue to champion women’s rights especially in today’s political climate.

Perhaps my fascination with these incredibly accomplished and remarkable women is because I am a social teacher or perhaps because I am a proud Albertan or perhaps because I remember watching the Historica Minute as a young girl thinking how could this have ever been an issue, but whatever the case I have selected The Famous Five for my tribute.

Who are The Famous Five?
Emily Murphy: a magistrate in Edmonton, author known as Janey Canuck and the first female judge in the British Empire.
Irene Parlby: president of the United Farm Women of Alberta, Red Cross worker and Alberta’s first female Cabinet minister.
Nellie McClung: the only female representative at the League of Nations, the first female on the Board of Directors at the CBC and an Edmonton Liberal MLA.
Louise McKinney: advocate, founder of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, and the first woman elected to the Legislature of Alberta.
Henrietta Muir Edwards: Red Cross leader, founding member of the Victorian Order of Nurses and long-term chairperson at the National Council of Women.

Their Cause
These women challenged the Supreme Court of Canada in 1927 to have women considered as ‘persons’ under Section 24 of the British North America Act of 1867; as a way to allow them greater political freedoms and democratic rights, such as that to be appointed to the Senate. The Supreme Court decided unanimously after lengthy deliberation that women were NOT “persons” eligible to be included in the Senate. Not content with the verdict, they persisted, eventually the “Person’s Case” was taken to the Judicial Committee of the Imperial Privy Council (basically the last court of appeal in the British Empire). There the Supreme Court’s decision was overturned; women were indeed “persons” and were eligible to be senators.

Outcome
Although I have zero political aspirations I treasure having the option to participate in government at all levels, if I want to; regardless of my gender. I do treasure the voice that I have in this country. I  treasure being treated with respect and dignity and I treasure being able to vote. Considering that my maternal grandparents fled from a country rife with political corruption and oppression I am thankful that I don’t face those same battles, here in Canada.

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Reflections & Lifestyle

Shiftworker Wife: Mental Health

January 28th was Bell Let’s Talk Day. Many professional development and convention sessions have focused on mental health and resiliency. I am very glad that this facet of well-being has been brought to the forefront; too bad it took a pandemic for us to get our priorities in order. I’ve spent a lot of time think about, learning about and researching mental health. I came across this article while my husband was away at work. Albeit, it is from 2017, but it was really the first article I found devoted to the topic and it also made me wonder how the pandemic has affected this situation.

Oil, Heartbeak, And Manhood: Behind The Mental Health Crisis Of Alberta’s Oil Workers

Despite all the gains we have made in opening up the dialogue on mental health far too many people, men especially hide their pain and suffering because of the long persisting stigma associated with mental health issues. They have been told for far too long to “suck it up” and “be a man.” As heartbreaking as it was to read I think that it is a very important one to read. It really scared me; my husband is a rotational shiftworker. I came across this article when it popped up on my Facebook feed, shared by a shiftworker; was it a sign or a quiet call for help?

I have heard stories from my husband and other shiftworkers about “guys who couldn’t hack it;” I couldn’t imagine the pressure that my husband, his friends and co-workers put on themselves not only to work hard to provide for their families but the pressure they put on themselves not to be labelled, “the guy who couldn’t hack it.” Just continuing the cycle of silence.

Let’s stop viewing our men as these hard-working, indestructible pillars in our lives and let’s start viewing them as hard-working, vulnerable humans. Talk to your spouse and don’t hesitate to access the help that they need.

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Reflections & Lifestyle

Country Life: The Inside Scoop

Country life can seem like an idyllic paradise to some but for others it is a nightmare. I spent the first 18 years of my life living just outside Vancouver, then five years in Edmonton before buying a house in the “country-adjacent” town of Devon. But in 2015, I moved to the COUNTRY with my better half. Let’s just say there was a steep learning curve and there are some challenges to living “out in the boonies” but overall I have to say this was the best move of my life!

The best parts of living in the country…

1. Neighbours
We live in my husband’s childhood home; that in itself is really cool. But, the neighbours and people in our community are amazing, they are kind, friendly and the mentality of helping each other out really rings true here. I feel safer here, simply because we know lots of people and we all depend on one another.

2. Summers
The summers here are beautiful, everything is green and full of life. It is refreshing and being able to spend hours outside is great, with the birds chirping and the creek rushing. Our quality of life has definitely improved. I spend summer nights star gazing.

3. Activities
My eyes have been opened to new fun and exciting activities. As well, the space we have allowed us to continue with beloved hobbies. From bird hunting in the fall, deer hunting in November, ice fishing at the lake nearby in the winter and gardening in the spring and summer or golfing on the front lawn; we are never not busy.

4. Peace & Quiet
No sirens, car alarms, yelling, traffic. Restful.

5. Organic Food
And this doesn’t come with a hefty price-tag from a grocery store. Being able to grow lots of our own fruits and vegetables gives us a sense of pride but also peace of mind that we aren’t eating pesticide-laced produce. We harvest our own meat in the form of goose, duck, moose, deer and fish. It reduces food costs, gets us off the couch and allows us to spend time together.

The drawbacks of living in the country…

1. Isolation
I’ll admit it took a bit of getting used to being so far from family and friends. I find it most difficult to be here on my own when my husband is gone to work for weeks at a time (especially during winter but I will get to that next). Occasionally I miss the hustle and bustle of the city.

2. Winters
The sheer amount of snow we get and the LONG driveway we have to clear is daunting. Luckily, my husband does this and our neighbour helps us out with his tractor but when I am on my own I feel overwhelmed. Plus, winter road conditions sometimes keep us more home bound than we would like.

3. Amenities
Being so far out from the city in a small hamlet, we don’t have the amenities that I enjoyed in my youth and sometimes feel nostalgic for, like fancy restaurants, movie theaters or certain beloved stores. Plus, many places, for example Sears won’t service our area so when something breaks down it can be quite the mess around to find someone to come out. Oh, and the internet is pretty sketchy out here too!

4. Chores
There is a lot that goes into the upkeep of our home and land; for example mowing acres and acres of grass, maintaining fencing, weeding, cutting trees (again, I am spoil my husband does this) and  it is time consuming. It isn’t all play…mind you it isn’t all work but I wasn’t prepared for how long our to-do lists sometimes are. You can’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

5. Mosquitos & Wasps
They can be INSANE…need I say more?? I spent a lot of time applying bug spray, Afterbite and ingesting Benadryl as well as swelling and itching. We have wasp traps up everywhere, bug zappers and a mosquito vacuum…It hardly made a dent. Sometimes it makes it hard to live an outdoor lifestyle or sit on the deck to enjoy the view.

Categories
Reflections & Lifestyle

To My 18 Year Old Self…

January is often times a month of reflection… in that vein I thought it would be fun to write a little note to my 18 year old self. It’s nice to celebrate what we all have been through, that makes us who we are and see how far we have come and how much we have changed. If you could write a letter to your younger self… what would you say?

Dear 18 Y/O Lila,

Looking back there are a few things that I wish you knew –it would have made life so much easier. But, hindsight is 20-20. First of all, you end up married to the most amazing man. Growing up you so badly wanted a boyfriend and a happily ever after. You are going to be utterly devastated each and every time you have your heart broken and you will often lament, “Where is he?” “Why is it taking so long?” It is perfectly fine to date lots of different guys but don’t try to make each one ‘fit’ –you should know that they won’t, because they aren’t the one. Before you dramatically say to yourself and your friends: “I am going to be single forever,” you will try online dating and boy you will meet a lot of “interesting” men, HOWEVER, you will also meet your other half.

You used to believe that marriage was only a piece of paper but you are in for a surprise…something does shift; never in your life have you ever felt love for someone to this extent or felt loved by someone to this extent. When he is away at work or you are parted (temporarily) for whatever reason you literally feel lost, uncomfortable and like half of your heart/soul is missing. It is overwhelming –that is worth the wait, Ms. Impatient!

We both know that your teenage years were a little tumultuous with your father’s illness and death and your relationship with your mother. You could never understand her and you felt like she would never understand you; oh the teenage angst. For some reason you felt this resentment, this irritation. Your bond will be tested but eventually you will have to let go and realize that she did the best she could with what she had. I really wish you figured this out sooner, but I guess it really is “never too late!” Her checking out which made you feel like you were on your own was a result of her grief. Her sudden realization that she needs to be a mother and of course the imposition of rules which you thought was garbage was her just trying to regain control in a world where she didn’t have much. After all, she couldn’t control your father’s illness or death or the shitty demise of our family as your father’s side seemed to cut and run when you both needed them the most. Her hoarding was a result of trying to hold on to her life before and fill her new life with something/anything.

Your high school friends that you deemed to be more important than family (your mother) will no longer be given a second thought once you go to Alberta for university despite the promises you made to one another. BUT… you will meet your ride or die, your bottom hand, your sister by choice, your best friend. That friendship is the definition of Anais Nin’s quote, “[e]ach friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Back to the tumultuous teenage years; your issues with self-esteem resulted in cutting and disordered eating; you eventually kicked them both but you really needed to commit to a life of mindful practice and healthy eating and exercise a lifestyle you will need to work on even in your 30s and wish you started sooner.

The driest piece of advice or rather the most ‘adultish’ piece of advice I would like to impart to you is the importance of financial planning. Go to the bank, meet with a planner, set yourself up to truly have a golden future/retirement. Invest, buy RRSPs and get life insurance. BUT! Don’t hoard your money use it to enjoy life, go on adventures, travel, do what you love before it is too late to do those things –think how young your dad was when he died. Plus, it will make you a more interesting person, it will broaden your horizons and give your life meaning; you can’t take it with you in the end after all.  

Sincerely,
34 Y/O Lila

And now for a blast from the past….