Why are families important? What do families provide that we cannot find on our own?
To be completely honest; I want to say that families are important because they give you unconditional love and they give you the kind of “good start” in life that’s so crucial in your later years. However, I’ve seen some incredibly remarkable kids despite; to be completely honest the worst families ever! I think that families whether birth/blood or created through adoption can be incredibly important if they are healthy, and are able to provide you with the types of supports that you can’t get anywhere else. What is very special in life is that families come in all shapes and sizes and that is very much celebrated and something else that is very special is that that we are able to CHOOSE our family. Those “chosen families” can fill the gaps to heal the pain that our real families have left or caused in our lives.
My spare time this month was dedicated to preparing for baby, recovering from surgery and then caring for baby. I read one baby related book and three mystery books for pleasure.
The Montessori Baby by Junnifa Uzodike and Simone Davies
This book focuses on how to incorporate the principles of Dr. Maria Montessori PRACTICALLY into your life and environment for your baby for the first year. There is a follow up book called The Montessori Toddler.
2. A Clock Stopped Dead by J.M. Hall (Book 3)
When a friend of the trio, Marguerite has a “freaky” experience; the ladies investigate and uncover a sinister prank all while confronting issues in their own lives with their husbands and children as well as their beliefs in the supernatural.
3. Mastering the Art of French Murder by Colleen Cambridge (Book 1)
Before she was a world renowned chef, Julia Child lived in France; in this fictional account, a murder is committed in her building with her knife. Her friend Tabitha seeks to track down the killer to clear Julia’s name only to untangled a web of Cold War secrets and shady dealings.
4. A Murder Most Royal by SJ Bennett (Book 3)
Queen Elizabeth II feels compelled to do a little sleuthing when a severed hand with a familiar signet ring washes up on a beach not too far from Sandringham. Aided by her APS Rozie and a collection of locals she uncovers the sad truth of the mystery. *I really like the fact that these books don’t have to be read in order –mainly because I didn’t realize it was part of a series. Oops!
-I can be overly cautious -I am very afraid of change and rocking the boat -I should have been more financially responsible -I tend to procrastinate -I can be lazy -I get bored too easily -I don’t like doing things or rather I don’t like doing certain things on my own and sometimes finding a partner in crime is tough -I get defeated easily -I don’t like being in charge of something or standing out; it gives me anxiety.
This time last year I was harvesting lots of zucchini from our garden and I shared my favourite recipes with you, I hope this year everyone has a bumper crop!
If you had the resources and the extra time to go back to school, what would you have liked to study?
There are so many things I would study…
-History -English literature -Psychology -Classics -Spanish -Hungarian -Culinary arts -Art history
To be honest I’d love to go back to school, for literally anything. It is something I often think about and I have even made inquiries at various post-secondary institutions about programs and fees. The last inquiry I made was with regard to becoming a Montessori teacher. Unfortunately working an 8am to 3pm sort of job, Monday through Friday with minimal prep time doesn’t allow a lot of extra time, but even in the summer I take courses and do lots of professional development.
I truly loved this idea because I had no clue what I would need and it is just so handy to have a curated selection of must have items. Also, IF you want all Frida products it was reasonably priced considering the individual pricing of the products included.
On the Frida site it retails for $100. You can also find it on Amazon and at many other “baby stores,” like West Coast kids (however you will pay more!)
The kit includes… -Peri Bottle for bathroom trips -4 Disposable Postpartum Underwear -Postpartum Abdominal Support Binder -10 Skip The Shower Wipes -3 Silicone Scar Patches -A pair of socks *It comes in a really nice travel bag!
The kit claims to have everything you need but that is misleading… you definitely need to remember to order PADS! The kit does NOT have pads which shocked me. My lochia was very minimal so I found the pads ridiculously large and overkill (a light to medium maxi pad is all that sufficed) BUT for those with heavy bleeding the pads wouldn’t let you down!
The peri bottle provided by the hospital was much better; in fact I was kicking myself for not liberating one upon being discharged. The one in the kit is cumbersome and the stream is weak. You can buy squeeze bottles at the Dollar Store.
The disposable underwear don’t breath as nicely as the hospital mesh underwear; and my baby was born is a heat wave so I was quite uncomfortable. However, the Frida brand offer good compression. I would suggest buying extra pairs of disposable underwear because 4 will not get you through… you will want 7 (a week’s worth) but then you can make the transition to “regular” underwear.
The support binder is so large that it was ineffective even cinched up all the way. I liked the idea because then I would have my hands free but in all honesty I preferred holding a pillow to my stomach. I am curious to see what the Recovery Band is like. So that may be worth a try!
I really liked the inclusion of the wipes because it made me feel a bit more human. However, for the same effect you can buy Aleva wipes for $4 on Amazon and you can get way more.
To be honest I forgot about the scar patches; which I don’t know if that bodes well for the product. I was told to keep my hospital dressing on for 5-7 days and then remove it and let the incision breathe and of course lightly cleanse it in the shower. Upon examination of my incision; it is very nicely sutured together and already two weeks out the scarring will end up being minimal. Personally, I don’t care if scars are visible and since this is my only baby I am not sure if I want to “eradicate” it. There are also many brands of scars reduction creams available on the market that you could use instead.
I am a sucker for socks and they are nice to have when the nurses make you get up and walk; you definitely don’t want to biff it on the slippery hospital floor. But again “grippy socks” are available from a variety of stores.
Overall impression: Not worth the cost; make your own care package for a FRACTION of the cost. Let’s just say “they saw me coming” when they were marketing this kit.
When was the last time someone truly listened to you?
Definitely not my students LOL just kidding!
I had a really good phone date with my long distance bestie. She always hears me! She makes me feel heard. And I like to think that the reverse is true. We are in our mid-thirties, although I may have to actually admit it but we’re closer to our late 30s. There are lots of things in life going on for both of us and we have an almost 20-year connection, but yet we ALWAYS make time to talk. We bare our souls quite frequently and easily with one another. I mean we both remember “secrets” we told each other in first year university when we first met; and those “secrets” are still locked down. If she doesn’t fit the definition of a true listener then I don’t know who does.
I was safely delivered of our son earlier this month via c-section; he is our first and only child. I prepared –perhaps over prepared for this momentous occasion. Since I’m on maternity leave and awake every two hours I have a lot of time to reflect and savour the moments.
If you are expecting, here are some things that I realized.
I over packed for myself and baby! (The understatement of the year!)
2. The hospital we were at provided formula, swaddle blankets , wipes, Vaseline; however they only provided cloth diapers so I was relieved that we brought our own pack of Huggies. *It is a good idea to Google or call the facility you are giving birth at to find out what is and is not provided so you can lighten your load.
3. Baby didn’t need any clothes except for a going home outfit; and perhaps 1 extra in case he wet in his home outfit. *I figured I would be putting him in clothes each day but he spent the the three days in a diaper and swaddle!
4. I sorely underestimated how limiting a c section is; I was literally unable to do any thing for three days! *My husband was incredible; he did every feeding, every diaper change around the clock for that time (and for almost two weeks afterwards because he genuinely enjoyed it and wanted to make sure I actually took it easy)
5. I didn’t need to pack as much as I did for myself… I ended up staying in the hospital gown the whole time; I was not up to getting dressed until I had to on the last day.
6. I preferred the blue pad & maxi set up the nurses put together over the Frida pads and underwear. *The disposable underwear at the hospital just breathed so much nicer! However, the Frida ones provide a little more compression. I also found the Frida pads were WAAY too large for what I needed.
7. I never thought I was use suppositories but it works so much quicker and it is 100% true after delivery you no longer care who sees what. *Before you go home; have the nurse give you the pain medication in suppository form! And don’t try to be a hero and muscle through the pain –take the pain meds if you need them!
8. WALKING I hated it but I needed to do it and definitely brace your belly with a pillow or heavy hospital blanket folded up.
9. I was so scared to have the first bowel movement but to be honest both peeing and pooping were not as scary as I thought although using the bathroom takes and inordinate amount of time!
10. The bassinet next to the bed was amazing! *I couldn’t physically get out of bed but being close to baby was great and made us re-think the sleeping configuration when we got home
11. I could not sit where ever I wanted when I got home… that was a shock! *We bought the most amazing chair for the nursery but I couldn’t sit in it; and even now I struggle to sit in it and hold the baby at the same time. I spent the first three nights at home sleeping on the couch because I couldn’t get into our bed.
What are some of the things that gave you a “major wake up call” post birth? Please share them below and let’s help out other expectant mothers!
What do you think you are destined for in this life?
I don’t think that I’m destined for GREAT things… I mean I will never cure cancer, or solve the issue of poverty and famine in another country and I will never be a politician who solves a long contentious issue plaguing society which yields me a Nobel Peace Prize. Nor do I think I’m destined for an awful life. I think I’m destined for a decently good life overall; some may call it mediocre –I call it balanced. It’s a life full of happy and healthy relationships for the most part with family and friends, a challenging yet rewarding career as a teacher. Ultimately it is a comfortable and privileged life. I do realize and appreciate the privilege!. I am destined to live a life in which I strive to be the best person I can and I’m quite content knowing that I did what I could and made the people around me happy and feel loved.
